Ok, so it’s 4:45 AM CST and I haven’t been to sleep yet – problem for some, but another normal day for me. I’m sitting here lights out and letting some music take me over with the TV going on in the background for light. This is my environment… my comfort zone.

Now, what I am about to write about is about two weeks old, but I had to cool down and let it play out to the end before I even thought about writing. It’s all about the friendships baby and this is exactly how you SHOULDN’T handle it. It’s funny that as I’m writing this, I’m listening to Lil’ Wayne’s Right Above It, and it talks about real and fake friends and running in small crews – that echos me to a scary likeness. I can count my close friends on my one hand and my acquaintances on the other hand.

So two weeks ago we finally asked what we thought were our close friends what the heck was up and why they haven’t spoken to us in a month. Quick back story, on my wife’s birthday, our friend told us in secret that she thought she was pregnant – in the same breath, she said that she was going to have an abortion. Way to ruin a damn celebratory day! Now this is a very touchy subject that has a simple yet strong following – either pro choice or pro life – no grey area unless rape is involved (in my opinion). Anyhow, long story short, we told her that we thought she should keep it and that her boyfriend is taking advantage of her (because he is) and that she needed to tell him to get a real job with better hours and better pay.

Well, apparently she didn’t like it and “felt judged” by the way we spoke. Now, mind you, at the very beginning of our friendship we all came to the agreement that we would wave the bullshit flag if someone did something that the other didn’t like. This would help to keep the friendship real and improve upon it and each individuals role in the friendship. So they apparently couldn’t act like adults and simply stop talking. We did stress to her that WHATEVER she chose, we would support her and her decision regardless of our feelings since that’s what friends do.

After a month of trying to communicate with them, we got nothing but short brush off answers if any at all so Facebook became the medium of choice for gladiatorial standoff. This conversation was extremely silly and harsh and things were said at point to ensure maximum verbal cutting depth (a specialty of mine) when it gets to this situation. The whole time we kept asking to talk, just to simply sit down together and talk as adults. This was too much for them as they refused to do so and kept going on with Facebook messaging. Shortly after the battle in the arena, we were both removed from their Facebook friends list (oho snap, if it happens on Facebook this crap has to be real right) and general contact list. How pathetic!

So I guess what I’m getting as is that friends – those that are REALLY friends, have different opinions, views from other perspectives, and a whole separate knowledge of life. This is what makes them interesting enough to have as friends and their personality is to enhance yours. Make you and overall better person. To make a friend you make a serious judgment about a person and take a big risk that they become and stay an actual friend and not someone that you regret knowing. A friend respects another friends opinion and takes it for what it’s worth – if it hurts, accept it but tell the friend that it hurt and why. If it’s nothing but banter, tell the friend that you expected more help from them and not just them to take the situation/issue lightly. This all helps the person to become a better friend and helps to build a really strong trusting and meaningful relationship.

Fair weather friends are a joke. Look long and hard at what you call a friend. Check to see if they are wearing a mask when they’re around you or other people that you hang around with. A real friend will have the same personality type around you as they will any type of person. Sometimes they’ll accept someone because they come with your package and not necessarily because they like them, but know that you should return the favor if you feel the same way about one of their friends – particularly couples.

TALK!! I can’t stress this enough. Talking will make things a BILLION times better and make the bond stronger between friends. Know that you WILL argue, disagree, and clown each other – this is all apart of the friendship package and why it’ll make the friends a force to be reckoned with. You have to fight through the hard times and disagreements to get to the fun times and grand memories. A man by the name of Ken Brown wrote a poem called “Friendship” and it goes like this: “A friend will stand beside you, and stay there come what may. A friend knows you’re not perfect, but loves you anyway“. (1984)

So to all the fake friends and their immature, ignorant, and holier-than-thou pissy attitudes – You’re all BULLCRAP!!!